I’m feeling as restless as that white chick in eat, pray, love. Maybe I need to stop watching Glee like I’m getting paid to do it. I can’t help it, though! Those choreographed dance numbers somehow melt the ice around my cold, blackened heart. To top it all off, I am pretty sure a fortune cookie just induced my three-years-shy quarter life crisis.

“In life, it’s good not to get too comfortable.” 

Dang. 

Currently at work. The girls are busy with their afternoon classes, so I have an hour or so to myself before I go back to being a teenage-wrangler extraordinaire. My brain feels like mush. Mostly because my paranoid ass kept waking up every thirty minutes in cold sweats last night, convinced that I had overslept and missed my bus to work. Oy vey.

Shit was weird last night. I had the apartment all to myself cuz the roomies were off traversing different parts of the west coast for ze weekend. I, on the other hand, have work. with my girls. where I am at currently. like i stated before.

I’ve come to realize that I have an obsessive personality. I don’t enjoy anything in moderation. extremes rule my life. I am an all or nothing girl. (YA SEE?! HOW MANY TIMES CAN I SAY THE SAME DAMN THING VIA CHEESY CLICHES????). I need to stop smoking so much. I think I have developed a case of the whooping cough as a result. (Making it my 156 case since I grossly overuse that analogy). 

People are fucked up. Some people, that is. Today, my girls were asked to write a a couple paragraphs inspired by this prompt: ”The woman who I admire the most is…” Every single one of them acknowledged their mothers. Every single one of them noted that even though their mothers were the cause of most of their pain, were to blame for most of their insecurities, were the reason for most of their abuse…. at the end of the day, their mothers are and always will be their mothers. Their mothers, at the very least, showed them what life decisions they should probably avoid. What maturity. I wish I had the strength to forgive like my girls do. 

I need to cut my hair. Shits getting too long. While I’m at it, I guess I should do laundry too. Haven’t done that in a while.

I’ve never hated anything as much as I hate my landlord’s dog. It whines whenever it hears sirens/car horns. I live on the corner of “a shit ton of cars” street and “Oh hai, is that a fucking interstate highway?” It needs to be put to sleep. TODAY. 

I am so excited for September to end.   

When I close my eyes at night, right before I go to sleep, a striking image of Jon Hamm’s face materializes in my mind. What the fuck does that mean? 

no matter how much i miss new york or how much i worry about money/bills, I cannot believe how blessed i am. I have a job, the best roommates a girl could ask for, great friends who are all exploding into and thriving in the world and a wonderful apartment in Hollywood to call home. Life is great and that’s all i gotta say about that. 

Go to work, go home, get fucked up. Go to work, go home, get fucked up.

I fear I’ve developed a routine for myself. Not bored of it yet, but…..

I just had my first conference call. Imma big girl now! 

Dear Stupid Bitch, 

Just because your pathetic excuse of a brain categorized me as a HISPANIC does not necessarily mean that I automatically lack the ability to speak English. If you want my help, you’re gonna have to stop starting your sentences with assumptions. I hope you never found your way to Wilshire Blvd even though I begrudgingly gave you the right directions. 

Sincerely, 

A strong woman of color who defies your every expectation by being an educated BILINGUAL 

P.S. Suck my dick!